Where The Sun Never Shines
by Lunaria Yuri Kitten
Summary: It was just a typical day for Sonic. Where all logic flies out the window and spin the bottle shenanigans are rampant. Yet somehow, the amount of copious crack the writers have consumed is never enough.


**NOTES - Kitty**

This was a crack collab between me and a friend, Nightmare. She wrote and I inspired~ We both hope you enjoy, btw, this is in Sonic's POV.

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It was a usual day. Me, Shadow, Rouge and Amy were playing Spin the Bottle in Cloud 9. Nothing wrong with that. Amy spun, and then had to kiss Rouge, and all hell BROKE THE FUCK LOOSE. It started raining worms. That's about it.

Amy leaned towards Rouge and gave her a small peck. Shadow threw a rock at Albert Einstien, and a mexican baby sneezed. Rouge suddenly just turned naked out of nowhere, and Shadow said: 'How-' 'I blame that kitchen faucet. It's leaking.' She pointed to a faucet that was overflowing with saliva. Me and Amy said 'What the hell?' in unsion. Shadow punched a wall, and then the cloud fell out of the sky, which we were all perfectly okay with.  
I, Sonic, spun the bottle reluctantly. Amy started dancing to Popipo, and Rouge said 'TITS OR GTFO.' Amy said, 'THEY SEE ME LEEKIN', THEY HATIN.' Shadow went to go sit in the emotional corner.  
Spin goes the bottle... ...elttob eht seog nipS And then, it pointed at Shadow. Derp. Rouge kicked a FOREVER ALONE rock and drove a truck into a bridge, it fell, a 12-year-old tycoon dies.  
I slowly walked towards the huddled up black-and-red hedgehog. 'Hiya, Shadow, y'wanna go eat non-eggs?' (lol Typlosion) And then, he turned around and pulled me into a AWESEOME SACUUASR DKPGK D;LKG kiss. We french kissed for a while, and then Amy threw a TOTAL RAGEFIT. She because becaeme the alternate ruler of hell, banned cheese doodles from the united states of America, then was locked in a rubber room. Rouge came back, soaked, married to said 2-year-old tycoon, and ruler of the lamp dimension. 'B-b-BEYONCE`.' She said exhaustedly. Then went to go rest in the kitchen waterfall.  
Soon enough, I was pretty much enjoying the taste of Shadow's mouth. Then, Blaze climbed out of purple dinosaur's bellybutton. 'What the flying fladoodle are you two DOING?' She yelled. She went to London for half a` second, and she picked up an accent. 'It must be a FEDERAL OFFENCE! I SHANT ACCEPT THIS YOU SILLEH HEDGEHOGS!' and she pranced off to tell Knuckles.  
SHIT.  
If Knuckles found out, never the hear would end it of we. 'OH NAWKULZ!~~~" Blaze yelled. Knuckles moonwalked in midair while his legs were in the sink and his head was in the wall. 'OH MAI' Knuckles said purring loudly. Blaze began shapeshifting into a taco. I wasn't gonna let anyone intrude my moment, so I threw my disc and Blaze got derezzed.  
Knuckles turned into the banshee and screeched so loud Tails and Cream flew out of the poopy toilet and began pooping grow-dinos. then the cloud we were on fell into a HELLHOLE, we said hi to Amy, went through the core of the earth, and back into the sky.  
Blaze said in her accent, 'W'hall, what bullshit be dis?' 'The work of portals, probably.' Cream whispered. 'I DEREZZED YOU! YOU'RE DEAD!' I yelled. 'Nope, I be a ghost kitteh, much like Kittariko.' Blaze responded. DERP I was ready to rip her head off, but then a orange Amy with a green dress appeared and said: 'MAH NAYHME IS AMEH RUHZE, I H8 BHLAZE, I CUHM 2 KIHLL HERR!1111oneone11111!' Me, Shadow, Rouge, and Knux just stood against the wall, speechless.  
We all started moving towards the back room, but in retrospect, I was quite intrested.  
Tails and Cream, however, were having underaged sex in the emo corner.  
Blaze was busy running away from the mary-sue until she got cornered.  
'Are you going to kill meh?' She said in her accent. 'YUSH I HAHHS 2' The sue said. Shadow confronted the sue and stabbed her with a pocket knife.  
She has invincibility.  
'Fuck.' Shadow said.  
And that is how Shadow got blasted out of the house and was found in Japan a minute later. Amy arose out of hell, then grabbed Rouge (who was still nude) and Blaze (who was still British) and started dancing to Gee by SNSD. Knuckles, who did NOT like that kept yelling 'DO DREAM FIGHTER BY PERFUME OR I KILL YOU WITH MY ASS-STINK!' When Shadow returned, he was dressed like Luka Megurine and was yelling 'WHAT' is you said something quietly like he had been to a concert. I facepalmed, grabbed all of his Luka clothes mojo and threw them into the poopy toilet of which Tails and Cream came from. Shadow shuffled uncomfortably. Espio came out of the waterfall that Rouge slept in, horse in a bookcase.  
He walked over to me and Shadow, who was singing Gee quietly and dancing spazzily.  
'MIEN!' Espio yelled then threw me over his shoulder and happily ran to mushroom land. TO THE MUSHROOM PLANET (umad Cat?) And by the mushroom planet, I mean to his bedroom in the waterfall.  
'NUEH NUEH NUEH, I SHANT ACCEPT THIS!' Blaze yelled and ran after him until the waterfall. 'Welp, fuck it, in a bucket.' she said, then walked away sadly. (no homestruck references in the comments people =_=u) Blaze was trying to slash away the water with her fire powers, which failed. HARD.  
Tails and Cream were flying in circles saying 'Sonic, Sonic, you love Sonniiiiccccc~' around Shadow. He looked like his head was gonna explode, he was covering his ears. 'HOLY HELL, JUST SHUT UP!' He yelled. Amy approves.  
Knuckles was sprinting around and yelling 'BRIE CHESSEEREEQDWKSAECH CRASLK!' Rouge was driving trucks into bridges with her 2-12 year old tycoon huswife, and keeping Beyonce` held hostage in the back of the truck. In Espio's room where I was busy being FUCKED by a- what the hell is Espio anyways? Silver shapeshifted from a lamp and then gasped. 'OH MY GAH' (Azumanga Daioh FTW?) he screamed. Rouge, lord of the lamp dimension, apparently turned Silver into a lamp for being utterly retarded. Silver ran away to tell Shadow of my discontent, Blaze was nuke-ing the waterfall just to get in. Knuckles and Tails were chopping up human hands on the EZ-BOARD in the kitchen, Cream was prodding Shadow to say he was in love with me, and then in a minute, he, Cream, and Silver were in the same room I was in. Shadow snatched me, then Silver yelled 'I HAVE ANGINA.' Espio covered Cream's ears and said 'THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!' 'No, ANGINA, you idiot. Chest pain.' Shadow corrected, then ran from Espio's room with me thrown over his shoulder. Espio yelled then ran: 'Fuck '  
Then Tails said in G Major: 'THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE. God damn.' So then Silver, Knuckles and Tails went to have a gay orgy in hell. Amy, once again, approves.  
Scrouge and Mephilles (spelled that wrong didn't I flol) were drinking Pina Coldadas on a boat that passed by, and the cloud fell on the boat and disenigrated into a bunch of pixies that Scrouge ate them all.

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**WRITER'S NOTE - Nightmare**

**At this point, you guys must be choking of laughter.**

**- Kitt**

**Of course. This is the ultimate fic of all time 8D**


End file.
